Heavenly nostalgia

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Last weekend our family snatched a few precious days away.  It was the only time we could all get away together over the summer so we headed to the South coast of England near Chichester.

West Wittering beach is very special to our family.  It is isn’t the most beautiful beach in the world but it is very dear to us.  It was not only the location of my husbands family holidays growing up, but it also became our family’s go-to destination for last-minute beach trips, usually on the final Bank Holiday in August, to say goodbye to summer.

And this is a poignant summer for us, squeezed in between weddings and October changes that will leave our boy’s bedrooms empty again. So, we booked a weekend in a caravan, packed our towels and suncream and headed for the beach.

And I never even considered that it would be so emotional.

As my long-legged young adults vacated the cars, I suddenly remembered them as excited young children, their arms full of buckets and spades and nets to catch crabs.  We would arrive at the coast early enough to find the perfect spot to lay out our towels near the rock pools that my children loved. These mini sealife centres would entertain them for hours. All sorts of critters were collected and kept in buckets, as beach pets for the day, only to be released as the sun sank low in the sky and thoughts turned to dinner.

The memories of those happy days are vivid and bittersweet.  They make me cry and smile at the same time.

It is the human condition we call nostalgia.

And all of us suffer from it from time to time.  It is a combination of a kind of warm remembering and a bittersweet longing for happy times in the past.  It is the feeling you get when a song from your youth comes on the radio or you eat your favourite childhood candy.  It can be triggered by a particular smell, an old photograph or revisiting a place you once lived.  It is sometimes described as, ‘looking back with joy.’

When scientists first identified this mental state, they believed it to be a wholly negative condition, an illness that needed to be cured.  Remembering and longing for the past was considered unhealthy and dangerous.

However, as time has gone by and more scientific studies have been done we have discovered how important nostalgia is to our well-being.  We now know that reminiscing is comforting and it can relieve stress and anxiety.  It also reduces feelings of loneliness and makes us feel connected.  And, it can increase our sense of gratitude and make us less selfish.

Familiar music stirs memories in dementia patients and reaches them in a way that no other type of communication can.

And nostalgia can actually make us more optimistic about the future, more inspired and more creative.

The word, nostalgia, comes from two Greek words meaning returning home and pain.  It is that deep longing for home, for the familiar, for your family, your tribe.  It is a yearning for the past, homesickness for where you come from.

In Ecclesiastes 3.11, King Solomon says that God has set eternity in human hearts.  We are created with a spiritual memory, an innate nostalgia for a home we have never seen.  And this produces a forward-looking joy, a reminiscing about what is to come.  

It reminds us every day who we are and where we belong.  It can blow away anxiety and fear and fill our hearts with overflowing gratitude.

Maybe your life is really great today, the sun is shining and all is right with the world.  Be grateful but remember that it is only a shadow of perfection to come.  As CS Lewis said, ‘there are better things ahead than any we leave behind.’  

Or maybe life is hard and disappointing.  It is okay to be homesick for a place you have never been to.  Let the reality of your eternal home comfort you and bring you peace.

Either way, let Kingdom nostalgia fill you up with optimism, Divine inspiration and endless creativity to live life well.

In every beautiful moment of celebration, in every disappointment or loss, let eternity continually remind you of its existence.  This is not all there is.

There is a place where we belong.

Look forward in joy.

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Why this is not a self-help blog

 

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I’ve always been a sucker for a self-help book.

If you could peek at my Kindle library you would see the collection of organizing books that I have read in the hope of transforming my scatteredness.  And then there are diet books and fitness plans alongside books that tell me  how to use my time well and get more done or how to simplify my life and slow down.  And, within the pages of these books I have found very practical, good advice that has helped me to make important changes.

But as a follower of Jesus, I must always remember the limitations of self-help books.

First of all, motivational writing is only helpful if it is true.   The pages of a book can tell me that I have within myself all the keys to my own happiness and success.  They can convince me that I can become anything I want to be if I try hard enough.  They can tell me that the sky is the limit if I will just change what I believe about my capabilities.  They can offer me all sorts of beautifully uplifting sentiments that will fill me up and make me smile.  They will sound good and true but they are only partly true which makes them misleading.  And it makes them wholly inadequate to sustain me when life gets really tough.

It only takes one terrible mistake, one devastating piece of bad news or heartbreaking betrayal to show me how little control I really have.  At that moment, what I really need to know is that I belong to a God who is in control, even when I am not, and that nothing can ever separate me from His love or His purposes or His presence.

Another problem with self-help books is that they assume personal happiness is always my goal.  But I’ve tried chasing this elusive quality and it is an impossible and exhausting exercise.  Happiness has a way of always feeling just out of reach.

The Bible tells me that the goal of the Christian life is to know God and to make Him known.  It also promises me that joy is the inevitable, beautiful fruit of my growing relationship with Him.

I don’t ever want to settle for mere happiness.  It is flimsy and precarious and it can be snatched from me with one phone call.

God’s joy is altogether different.  It is a hardy plant.  It can survive, even flourish, in the midst of grief and disappointment, blossoming in impossible places.

You can’t produce it yourself though.  It is the natural byproduct of a life poured out for Jesus and for others.

Another limitation of self-help books, even by Christian authors, is that they can overemphasize life here and now.  Please don’t misunderstand me.  I believe in John 10.10 with my whole heart.  I believe that Jesus wants to give me that abundant life today.  I believe that He wants to heal and deliver me from the things that hold me down and He wants to provide my needs and bless me.  But, I don’t have to race around with a bucket list of experiences in order to live life well.  I don’t have to chase accomplishment or acclaim in the fear of wasting this time I am given. I can enjoy life, with all its ups and downs, its limitations and disappointments, joys and blessings precisely because I know that this isn’t all there is.  And, thank goodness for that!  It takes the pressure off of ‘making life amazing every day’ and just allows me to enjoy the imperfect journey, knowing that there is a day coming when everything will be as it should be.

And finally, although self-help advice is often good and helpful, the ‘why’ can be a bit misguided.  And why we do something really, really matters.

With my whole heart, I want to live life carefully.  I want to use my time well, eliminate distractions and clutter.  I want to change my thinking.  I want to be less lazy and more productive.  I want to expect more from myself and believe more from God.  And I want to encourage others to do the same.  That is why I started this blog a year ago.

But it has never been about reaching my full-potential or realizing personal dreams.  I am not a slave to a Pinterest vision board or Instagram philosophies.  I am running for a different prize.

I want to use my time well because there is need in the world that God wants to meet.  I want to be more oganized so I can make time for what has eternal value.  Decluttering matters because stuff is way less important than people.  Health and fitness matter because there is Kingdom work to do and I need the energy to do it.  I  need to look after my mental health so I can enjoy everything God has given me and so I can love others well.

And I should ask Jesus to work every healing and deliverance in my life that is needed because people who are whole can best lead others into wholeness.

Self-help can be just a poor copy of something much better.  I have a Shepherd who loves me.  He promises to lead me and restore my soul and He says I will want for nothing.  He takes my broken, imperfect life and makes it a Kingdom resource in His powerful hands.  He helps me overcome obstacles so I can walk on my high places.  Not because I am all that amazing, but because He really is.

What a relief that is!

I know my limitations but I know the limitless transforming power of the Creator of the Universe which trumps any weakness I bring to the table.

This girl doesn’t need any self-help.  I just need to help myself to the spiritual treasures that are mine because of Jesus.

And then any good I accomplish will be all for His glory and for the renowned of His wonderful name.