weddings

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We did it.

The dust has settled, the house guests have gone home and the flower arrangements are starting to wilt. Wedding outfits are in the wash and the redundant to do lists have been binned.

I feel completely exhausted. And totally content.

Contentment is a gift and I have grown to treasure it, because for much of my life it has been a battle. Being content has so often been strangled by perfectionism. My idealistic nature would dream up plans, scenarios and colourful Pinterest pages, only for the reality to painfully disappoint and steal my happiness.

But thankfully, contentment can be learned.

When we stir up gratefulness to God, we produce conditions where envy and disappointment wither and contentment can thrive.

Ann Voskamp beautifully says it like this, ‘Being joyful isn’t what makes you grateful. Being grateful is what makes you joyful.’

I have found that gratitude and joy help me to accept things as they are and acceptance is a powerful, life-changing quality for recovering perfectionists.

Acceptance on the day of my daughter’s wedding kept my joy and sanity intact.

I had, long before the big day, accepted the fact that there were things we could not control. So, when the heavens opened just as we were all leaving for the church, I just thanked God for umbrellas and frizz-control hairspray.

When the weather spoiled the plans for live music outside after the wedding, we laughed and hugged and took pictures inside a beautifully decorated corridor of the university building.

And there were other little mishaps. I totally forgot to put on earrings in the rush of getting ready. I burst into tears when I realised the moment I had imagined of seeing Hannah come down the stairs of our home in her wedding dress was going to happen after I had to leave for the church. We all ran a little late. We got a little snappy. We lost things and forgot things.

And the day was imperfectly wonderful.

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2 Corinthians 4.7 says, ‘But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.’

This is the life of a Christian on earth. We have treasure, but it is wrapped in clay. Every perfect thing that God does in our hearts and lives has to contend with earthly limitations. He is perfect. We are not. His kingdom is glorious. This world is muddy.

And our beautiful Christian wedding was the same. It was a divine moment when two people became one, when families that love each other witnessed and celebrated and danced together. It was a day of beauty but it was wrapped up in inevitable imperfection.

But if we can accept this truth about our lives, there is a divine purpose because God promises us that our imperfections highlight His glory.

One of my favourite quotes is by Priscilla Shirer. She says, ‘Contentment is the equilibrium between the enjoyment of life now and the anticipation of what is to come’

As I danced with my nieces and nephews and laughed with old friends, I was living in that equilibrium, in the place where God’s glory is wrapped up in tired feet and too much cake and rain-flattened, mother-of-the-bride hair.

It is a wonderful place where I have grace to accept the imperfection of clay and worship the good God who one day will wrap glory in glory, for all eternity.

As I told my daughter the week before the wedding, happy weddings are beautiful weddings.

And happy, content lives are beautiful ones that point to the goodness and sufficiency of life with our God. They shout, ‘He is enough for me.’

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Colossians 2.16-17 says, ‘Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. They are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.’

When Paul wrote this letter to the church at Colossae, he was writing to people who were neglecting to make the main thing the main thing. False teachings had reached this fledgling fellowship and had caused traditions and rules to take precedence over the centrality of Christ and his finished work. Festivals and food restrictions became a bone of contention among the believers there.

Paul nips this heresy in the bud. He is very clear. Celebrations, feasts and sabbath days were given to us from God. But they were never meant to be more than a shadow of what was to come. They were intended to point us to Christ, not take centre stage.

It is an easy mistake to make.

Jewish feasts are beautiful. They are colourful and joyful and noisy. These celebrations tie generations together as traditions are handed down and memories are made. Anyone who has shared a Passover meal with a Jewish family or witnessed the glorious feast of Tabernacles will know what I mean. They are compelling occasions.

And yet Paul says they are only shadows. They are the muted, blurry outline of something much more glorious. In comparison with Christ they are like a badly taken photo in a dark room on a gloomy day.

Weddings are shadows too.

We are excited for Saturday. We have planned it for ten months and there have been blood sweat and tears! We have designed a wedding cake, chosen flowers, printed menus and hand-lettered until our hands hurt. We have carefully chosen the colours and flowers and the dresses. Suits and ties have been bought and shoes have been polished. I have even tied tiny gold acorns on each place name! It seemed a good idea at the time.

Weddings are funny things, aren’t they? So much fuss for one day. It doesn’t make sense except that the fuss is supposed to equal the significance.

We make a big deal out of weddings because marriage is a big deal. Choosing who you want to be with for the rest of your life is a momentous decision, and so we treat it as such. On Saturday our family will have a wonderful day as we bless our daughter and her new husband and witness them starting their lives together. It will be emotional and beautiful and it will be worth all the time and money because of its significance to us.

And it will be only a shadow.

There is a day coming that is the culmination of everything God has planned and sacrificed for. The preparations for that day have been going on since creation. We cannot imagine the glory and perfection of it. It’s beauty will be unmatched and its joy unending. Every tear will be wiped away, every disappointment will feel like a distant memory, and, love will win.

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”I Corinthians 2.9

Until then we enjoy the shadows that point us to Him.