Am I enough?

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Up it popped on my social media again.  I’ve seen it before, it has done the rounds.  But it jumped out at me today and made me think.

‘You are enough’,  the beautifully calligraphed words told me.

And all at once I felt both comforted and uncomfortable.

Because I want to be enough.  I want to wake up in the morning, free to enjoy the day God has given me without the voice of perfectionism whispering in my ear.

I want to feel valuable whether I lose those twenty pounds or not.

I want to be at ease with myself, not always driven to compare with others who are more outgoing or more accomplished, less disorganized or less freckled.

And, I am desperate to be free of the insecurities that comparison breeds in my heart, stealing my joy one envious thought at a time.

I want to feel like I am okay.  I want to feel enough.

But there is another side to this coin.

One of my favourite verses in the Bible says ‘and He has said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.’  1 Corinthians 12.9.

Paul found joy in knowing that he wasn’t enough.  He actually enjoyed showing off how un-enough he was!  And the reason?  Because that is where the power is.

The Bible tells us that there is a wonderful freedom in accepting my limitations.

And, it is a freedom that leads to power.  The Greek word used for power here is ‘dunamis’ which means a miracle-working power.  And it really is miraculous.  When God’s power meets my weakness, there is a miracle of multiplication every time.  What isn’t enough, becomes enough.  What is weak, becomes strong.  What is fearful becomes brave.  What is selfish becomes generous and kind.

And that’s really good news because the truth is that I am flawed.  I fight tendencies toward anxiety and fear on most days.  I can be overly sensitive and way too worried about what others think about me.  I procrastinate difficult tasks all the time.  I can be messy, overly excitable and easily discouraged.  I can be self-focused and I can be a coward.

So, am I enough?

The answer is in the gospel accounts of the New Testament.  Here we read about the miracle of the feeding of the 5000 where Jesus miraculously multiplies a little boy’s lunch to feed a crowd.

Was that lunch enough?

Well, it definitely wasn’t enough to feed thousands of people.  In fact, it was woefully inadequate.  No matter how thinly you sliced that bread and fish, it would have never have been sufficient, not even close.

But notice, Jesus isn’t disappointed with the size of the offering.  He didn’t tell the lad that he should have brought more lunch.  He just received the gift, took it in his hands, thanked God for it and multiplied it.  And a modest lunch filled every hungry mouth that was there that day.

Was that lunch enough?  In the hands of Jesus, it was.

So, maybe in His hands what I bring is enough too.

My God never berates me for small offerings if they are from a sincere and generous heart.  He isn’t disappointed with how much I bring to the table.  He doesn’t compare my contribution with others.  Instead, He lifts it to His Father and transforms my lack into His abundance.   

I am clay and I am dust but I am bought with a price.  I am a valued daughter, unique and precious to my dad.  I don’t need to be like anybody else. God takes great joy in who He created me to be and He takes full responsibility for finishing what He has started.

So, I have decided that it would be better to say this, ‘It is okay to not be enough in the hands of God who is enough.

It is not nearly as catchy I know, but it is infinitely truer and within its truth is freedom and miraculous, multiplying power for me today.

 

 

 

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